Breastfeeding positions are, like, my lifeline right now, y’all. I’m writing this from my cramped apartment in Cleveland, Ohio, where my couch is covered in burp cloths and there’s a weird smell coming from… somewhere. Probably a forgotten sippy cup. Anyway, nursing my kid has been a wild ride—equal parts magical and “what am I doing wrong?” I’ve spilled milk (literal and figurative), cried in the shower, and learned some breastfeeding techniques that actually work. So, here’s my totally unfiltered, slightly chaotic take on the nursing positions every mom should try. Grab your coffee (or wine, no judgment), and let’s dive in.
Why Breastfeeding Positions Are Kinda Everything
So, I thought breastfeeding was just, like, holding the baby and letting them eat. Big nope. My first week, I was perched on this lumpy couch in my living room, my back aching like I’d run a marathon, and my baby was latching like a tiny vampire. Turns out, nailing breastfeeding positions can make things way easier—better latch, less pain, and you don’t feel like you’re going to pass out from holding your kid for hours. I learned this after a particularly rough night when I googled “why does breastfeeding hurt” at 4 a.m. Spoiler: Bad positioning was my problem.
Here’s why these nursing positions matter:
- Latching Like a Pro: Good position = happy baby and happy nipples.
- Comfort (Kinda): Your arms and back won’t hate you as much.
- Vibes: Some positions just make you feel closer to your kid, you know?
Cradle Hold: The OG Breastfeeding Position
This is the one you see on every baby website, right? You’re holding your kid like you’re rocking a tiny football, except I’m more of a “binge true crime” gal than a sports person. I tried this in the hospital, sitting on a bed that creaked every time I moved, and I felt like I was auditioning for a parenting commercial. Except my arm fell asleep, and I was terrified I’d drop her. Once I figured out the nursing pillow thing—got mine from Target—it was smoother. Kind of.
How I do it:
- Find a comfy spot (not my janky couch; learned that the hard way).
- Prop a nursing pillow under the baby to save your arms.
- Line up their tummy to yours, nose to nip. Sounds awkward, works great.
Football Hold: My Breastfeeding Superhero
Okay, real talk—the football hold is my jam. Picture me, a month postpartum, sitting on my couch with a bag of Cheetos (don’t @ me) and my C-section scar yelling at me. My baby was fussing, I was sweaty, and I was about to give up. Then a lactation consultant showed me this position, and I was like, “Why didn’t anyone tell me sooner?” You tuck the baby under your arm, like you’re about to sprint down a field. It’s clutch for C-section mamas or if your kid’s a flailing octopus.
Why it’s awesome:
- Keeps baby off your sore belly.
- Frees up a hand for snacking or doomscrolling on X.
- Helps with latching, especially for tiny-mouthed babies.
Pro tip: Use a pillow under your arm. I didn’t, and my elbow was screaming. KellyMom has a solid guide if you’re curious.
Side-Lying Position: Breastfeeding for Lazy Queens
Y’all, the side-lying position is my actual soulmate. I stumbled into this at 3 a.m., sprawled in my bed with my husband snoring and some random car alarm going off outside. I was too exhausted to sit up, so I just rolled over, pulled my kid close, and let her nurse. It felt like I’d hacked motherhood. But, like, don’t fall asleep—huge safety no-no. I had a mini heart attack when I realized I’d almost dozed off once, and I felt like the worst mom ever. Still, this position’s a godsend for night feeds.
How I make it work:
- Lie on your side, maybe with a pillow under your head.
- Get baby facing you, tummy to tummy.
- Guide the latch with your free hand, then relax (but stay awake!).
[Outbound Link: The Bump has tips on keeping this position safe and cozy.]
My Breastfeeding Position Fails (Learn from Me)
Oh god, I’ve messed up so many times. Early on, I didn’t use pillows, so my back was like, “We’re done here.” I also forgot to hydrate, which is apparently a big deal when you’re a milk machine. And then there was the time I tried nursing at a café without a cover and accidentally gave everyone a show. I laughed it off, but my face was burning. Biggest takeaway? Keep trying different breastfeeding positions until you find what clicks. Every baby’s different, and what works for your friend’s kid might be a total flop for yours.
Wrapping Up My Breastfeeding Positions Rant
So, that’s my hot mess of a guide to breastfeeding positions every new mom should try. I’m just a tired Ohio mom, fumbling through this parenting thing, but these nursing positions have kept me sane(ish). Whether you’re vibing with the cradle hold, living for the football hold, or obsessed with side-lying like me, keep experimenting. Got a funny breastfeeding fail or a position you love? Hit me up on X—I’m all ears (or eyes, I guess). And if you’re struggling, La Leche League has your back. You’re killing it, even when it feels like you’re not.
Outbound links:
La Leche League – Positioning Guide
- Used in the “Why Breastfeeding Positions Are Kinda Everything” section to support the explanation of why positioning matters for latching and comfort. La Leche League is a trusted resource for breastfeeding support, offering evidence-based advice that aligns with the blog’s focus.
Target – Breastfeeding Products
- Referenced in the “Cradle Hold: The OG Breastfeeding Position” section to recommend a nursing pillow, a practical tool I mentioned using personally. Target is a recognizable retailer, making it a relatable and accessible link for new moms in the US.
- Included in the “Football Hold: My Breastfeeding Superhero” section to provide a detailed guide on the football hold position. KellyMom is a well-respected, evidence-based breastfeeding resource, perfect for readers wanting more technical info.
The Bump – Breastfeeding Positions
- Linked in the “Side-Lying Position: Breastfeeding for Lazy Queens” section to offer safety tips and additional guidance on the side-lying position. The Bump is a popular parenting site, making it a reliable and reader-friendly resource.
