Feeding
Weaning off milk feeds
There is no required end point, and how it is done affects comfort, mood and the child considerably more than when.
Stopping breastfeeding or bottle feeding is one of the few parenting transitions with no fixed timetable, which makes it both flexible and a source of considerable outside opinion.
What the guidance says
The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding alongside appropriate foods for two years or beyond, with several national bodies expressing similar positions.
Which means continuing past a year is normal rather than unusual, despite frequently being treated otherwise.
Equally, stopping earlier is a legitimate decision, and the reasons — work, health, medication, exhaustion, or simply wanting to — do not require justification.
Bottle feeding is generally recommended to stop around twelve months, moving to a cup, primarily for dental reasons.
Doing it gradually
Which is more comfortable for everyone.
Drop one feed at a time, waiting several days to a week before dropping the next, which allows supply to reduce without engorgement and gives the child time to adjust.
Start with the feed the child is least attached to, which is commonly a middle-of-the-day one.
Keep the morning and bedtime feeds until last, since they are usually the most valued.
Offer a substitute — a snack, a drink in a cup, a cuddle, a story — rather than simply removing the feed.
Change the routine around the feed, since much of it is associative.
And avoid stopping during illness, teething, a house move, starting childcare or a new sibling.
Managing your own body
For breastfeeding parents.
Gradual weaning generally avoids problems.
Where discomfort occurs, express just enough for comfort rather than fully, which signals reduced demand.
Cold compresses and well-fitting supportive clothing help.
Watch for blocked ducts and mastitis, and seek help promptly if a red, painful area develops with fever.
Hormonal changes on weaning can affect mood, and a period of low mood after stopping is described by many people and is worth knowing about in advance.
Abrupt weaning, where unavoidable, requires more careful management and is more likely to cause both engorgement and mood effects.
Night weaning
Frequently the hardest part and separable from the rest.
Whether night feeds are still nutritionally needed depends on age, growth and daytime intake, and is worth checking with a clinician for younger babies.
Approaches include gradually reducing the duration or volume of night feeds, having the non-feeding parent respond instead, and offering comfort in other forms.
Older children respond to explanation and to consistent routines around it.
And night weaning does not always improve sleep, which is worth knowing before doing it for that reason.
Child-led stopping
Which happens and takes longer than most people expect.
Children who stop on their own generally do so gradually over months, dropping feeds as other things become more interesting.
Nursing strikes — sudden refusal — are different and usually temporary, caused by illness, teething, a change in routine, or a reaction to something, and are frequently resolved by patience rather than treated as the end.
What to move to
Practically.
From twelve months, whole cow's milk can be a main drink, with around three hundred to four hundred millilitres a day being a common guideline, since more displaces food and contributes to iron deficiency.
Fortified soya drink is the main plant-based alternative with adequate protein, on dietetic advice.
Toddler and follow-on milks are not necessary and are marketed heavily, with several public health bodies stating they offer no advantage over cow's milk for most children.
Water with meals and between them.
And attention to iron and vitamin D, which are the nutrients most affected by the transition.
The emotional part
Frequently underestimated.
Many parents feel sadness at stopping, even when the decision was theirs and welcome.
Others feel relief and then guilt about the relief.
Some feel pressure from family or from strangers in both directions — to stop earlier, or to continue longer.
Neither the World Health Organization nor anyone else is present at your kitchen table, and the decision that works for your family is the right one.
Maintaining the closeness through other routines — a story at the same time, a specific cuddle — makes the change easier for the child and frequently for the adult.
General information only, not medical advice. Consult a health visitor, lactation professional or clinician about weaning, particularly for babies under a year.
